RAINBOW VANS & OTHER BRILLIANT IDEAS

March 5 2015

When Jente (Sister Pink Cloud) and I are together we make the most amazing plans for the future. About what we are going to do this summer, what kind of mindblowing projects we are going to start. How we are going to save the world or open a restaurant. How to spread mindfulness in our own little way. Where to buy the van for our Monkie Tour around the world to visit monasteries and interview all the wise monks we can find. What the title of our tv-show is going to be during the Monkie Tour. How to build a mindful community in France with houses made out of all kind of sustainable stuff that we are going to build with our bear hands. And of course, host retreats there. Those kinds of plans.

I don’t want to make any plans, Maarten says. Say what? You grumpy monkie, don’t spoil our fun!

I can’t imagine that. I make plans all the time for the brilliant ideas I have. I do it on the toilet, in the shower, while I’m eating, trying to sleep, cook, sit in the train from Groningen to Rotterdam. You get the picture.

Having ideas constantly popping in my head is so common for me. Dreaming about the future and how I am going to plan all of this as well. I’ve written a lot of business plans in my head. Don’t get me wrong, I do think it is good to dream (big). It keeps me going, motivated, makes me feel like anything is possible and I can do something meaningful with my life. Not that I don’t do that already, because I do, but of course it can be more or better. Always grasping for more.

Last week I started to observe where my daily thoughts are about. Just random thoughts. I noticed they are about things like food, worrying, people (mostly conversations or liking / disliking), making todo lists and… surprise, surprise: making plans for my ideas. I spend a lot of time thinking about it. I start to notice it more and more. I wasn’t really aware of it, but I feel like I can really loose myself in ideas and planning. Can’t stop thinking about it. Not so mindful or being in the here and now, I get that. And there is something else about all these ideas, because there is the risk of feeling like a failure when I don’t realize all of them. #FAIL Not a good feeling. Hmmm, maybe this grumpy monkie had some sort of a point.

I’m still not saying I want to stop dreaming and planning, because I love it and how else would great projects start? But maybe I can find a way to manage my thinking about it better. I’m just more aware now that I don’t have to get carried away by all my ideas. They come and go, like normal thoughts. I don’t have to write everything down in case I forget that one brilliant idea. (I have lists of them) If it is that brilliant I try to trust it will stay with me until needed. Otherwise it probably was not that important. In the meantime I just try to filter the dreams and ideas that are really important to me now and focus on them.

So if you see us driving by in a rainbow van next year, the Monkie Tour was really important to Jente and me. I do hope Maarten will also be in it by then. For now, back to my fingers typing on my laptop and watching the rain on the window. I have an interesting project to work on for the rest of the day and I am pretty grateful for it.